I write the best surveys...

1. What’s your deep psychological or sociological reason for even starting this survey?
It's just a little temporary escapism from my job.

2. If you were to purposefully piss somebody off, who would it be and how would you do it?
That one dude in my editing class, I'd take his cell phone and throw it on the ground then stomp on it, busting it to pieces

3. Is an open fly sexy?
It's more of a preview really

4. “The Thong” Sanitary or Unsanitary?
If your curious, look in that girl's laundry basket...yeah, an article of clothing really can't get any dirtier.

5. In your opinion, is President George W. Bush from Texas or Connecticut?
He has land in Texas, but I maintain that he's from Conn.

6. Why don’t you clean your room?
'Cause it's really not THAT messy

7. What are your skills?
Origami skills, knife and hatchet throwing skills, 22 calibre rifle skills, drawing skills, writing skills, filmmaking skills, macking skills

8. What Thanksgiving food item do you NOT like?
My mom made candied yams using Peeps instead of real marshmallows...it was horrific

9. What’s public transportation’s biggest annoyance?
The stinky homeless people who sneak in through the back door and populate the rear of the bus.

10. What’s the best thing about riding a bike?
It's excercise as you're sitting plus the scenery is great, what can be better?

11. Was Paris Hilton ever “hot”?
Not really, before I knew who she was I thought she was some greasy Eurotrash.

12. What horror flick scares you the most?
"Poltergeist" freaked me out the most as a kid, yet I watched it all the time.

13. Are you closer to your mother or father, and why?
I spend more time with my Mom, we have the same taste in a lot of things. But my personality is a lot like my dad's.

14. What childhood TV actor or character would you most like to meet in person?
Mark Summers, Double Dare was the shiznit

15. How do you get rid of your nose hair?
I detach the razor from it's handle then stroke the inside of my nostrils...it works really well

16. Somebody totally eats it on the sidewalk, do you help him/her? (Honest answer please)
If I'm within his/her vicinity, yeah. Vicinity meaning about 30 yards

17. Nestling under a shady tree or basking in the noonday sun?
I enjoy nice cool grass more than anything, so yeah, shady tree please

18. When a bird craps on someone else, do you tell them?
I probably should, but I always assume that maybe they already know and I don't want to remind them.

19. When candy gets stuck in your teeth, do you painstakingly pick it out or just wait for it to dissolve away?
Just wait it out, it'll go away

20. What recreational drug needs a big time comeback?
LSD, so much good music came out of it. I think it would be a cure for a lot of the crap that's coming out nowadays.

21. How much time should pass from when you get his/her number before you call him/her?
The next day, late afternoon or evening I'd say.

22. What is it you love that you could also possibly make a career out of?
Filmmaking

23. Do you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he dresses up like a girl bunny?
No, but I used to wish that Jessica Rabbit would really exist

24. What are your means of turning a light switch ON or OFF when your hands are wet?
It's all in the elbow

25. What distinguishing body marks are you most self conscious of, and why?
The scar on my cheek I guess...it wasn't there when I was born

26. What’s your definition of “Emo”?
I refrain from defining, I just know that I like it sometimes and hate it other times.

27. What celebrity do you have dreams of punching out?
I actually had a dream that I punched James Woods square in the nose, he seems like a cool guy, he's just really good at playing the jerk in the films he'sin.

28. Which tastes better, toe nails or inner cheek skin?
Inner cheek skin...mmmmm

29. What is Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” really about?
I think it's about the innocense and excitement of newfound love. Quentin Tarantino's definition is always entertaining though.

30. What if he/she DOES like you?
I'd be flattered

31. What’s your best move?
Being Jon and not going totally over the top or lying to impress someone.

32. What’s REALLY goin’ on?
Couldn't tell ya, why don't you ask Stephen Hawking or somebody smarter.