My review of Brothers Grimm...

Hey everyone! Jon here just gettin' back from watching Brothers Grimm on the silver screen and let me tell ya, it's a real treat. If you want a precursor to what you should expect, just watch every Gilliam film ever made, this film is an orgy of Gilliam visuals. The comedy in the film is reminiscent to Jabberwocky, the pacing of the film calls back to Baron Munchausen, the comradery of the Brothers is a love hate one not too different from Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo. Just throw in a little Jonathan Pryce and those crazy French and you have a film that we are all pre-destined to adore. Give it to Terry to take a big budget production and create something totally original out of the fairy tales that we already know and love. It is such a bizaar film with some very haunting imagery, grotesque humour and some great performances from the actors involved. Heath Ledger is particularly good and seems to connect better with the audience than Damon is able to, considering the nature of his incredulous character. Stormare's Cavaldi is a tortured individual with a loveable/demonic charm who has some great "moments" throughout the film. Lena Headey brings a fresh face to the film (for me anyway) and does a quality job as the leading lady. As for Monica Bellucci, I would really have liked to have more of her, but who wouldn't, right? All in all, I give it 3 1/2 stars out of 4 in comparison with other fantasy films that have been coming out. To compare it to Terry's past films, it's not one of his best and does start out a little slow, but the rest of the film and how it just get more and more psychotic in nature makes up for everything. Go see it, I highly recommend it

Complexities of Jon

Still waters run deep, but I feel a geyser is about to go off, at which point the ambiguity of this posting will be demolished to show the truth. Change is in the wind, but I have a fan to keep me cool until it reaches me. That's all I can tell you for now :)

The start of a new semester in life...

During the summer break I had the hardest time trying to choose what classes I wanted to take this fall. Then finally, sometime last week I narrowed my choices down to 3 courses that I was interested in: Creative Writing, Digital Film Editing and Drawing After careful consideration I've decided to enroll in the latter two of my choices. The Creative Writing class, although I'm sure it would have been interesting, just didn't hold any promise. I think as far as having the ability to write creatively goes, I'm good for now, I'm happy with what I'm creating when I put pen to paper. But my drawing skills have diminished due to lack of practice and I really want to take a crash course in editing so I won't be lost while editing with my new editing software at home. My drawing class started tonight. The classroom is at Fort Mason in the Marina on a beautiful location with a clear view of both Alcatraz and the Golden Gate bridge. I arrived over an hour early so I took to working on my script as I sat at the edge of the dock to enjoy the sound of the bay waters crashing against the pier and the pelicans swooping across the bay in "V" formation. There's a pic up on my profile of me while I was writing. My art teacher is cool, the first thing he told us was that he'd been an Art teacher at CCSF since 1972, which got a good chuckle from the class. I'm not sure whether or not he meant it as a joke, but it was funny nonetheless. When he speaks he shakes his head just like Will Ferrell does when he immitates Harry Carey. And he's missing half a pinky on his left hand. At the end of class he asked if there were any questions regarding the syllabus, I had to bite my tongue before I dared to ask how he lost it. He looks sorta like Geoffrey Lewis, Juliette Lewis' dad, only he has more hair and a white mustache.

How'd I miss it?

Remember that cruddy Raul Midon CD that I hated? Well, I sold it to Raspy's (Rasputin Music) today and got a whole $2 for it. Thanks alot impulse buying bug and Virgin return policy! In return, I got myself a couple of used DVDs. The classic "Better Off Dead" (Gee, I'm sorry your mom blew up, Ricky) and "Panic Room". I only saw the second half of "Panic Room" this past weekend, and even then it was fragmented viewing as I was cleaning my apartment. But what I saw simply amazed me and held me in suspense for the parts that I was able to watch. I was shocked when I saw a used "Superbit" DVD version of it at Rasputin for only $3! How could I not get it! My DVD collection is growing immensely, along with my CD collection. I may have to invest in a good sized "Media Cabinet" sooner or later to house all my "stuff".

Sacrifices galore...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being married and all, but sometimes there are times when I feel that a "compromise" is just a different word for "caving in" to make her happy. Yesterday, her best friend came out to the city to go to dinner with us and hang out in the Haight for a bit. She brought her husband, who just a few months ago was this close (holds index and thumb close to eachother) to getting a divorce do to his distasteful addictions. I've never liked the guy, there were times when we'd hang out and I'd be forced to act as if I was enjoying myself so I wouldn't spoil things for everyone else. He mumbles every other word, his eloquency is non-existent and his personality is draining. When they drove up to our apartment's driveway, she came upstairs to meet us while he waited in the car. It sent chills up my spine, I could already tell that the evening was not going to go well. We went downstairs and got in the car. He didn't say a word the whole way to the Ethiopian restaurant apart from asking me for directions. I tried to bypass the uncomfortable feeling of sitting behind him by imagining that he was just a cab driver who didn't know the way. We arrived at Axum Cafe on Haight St. and found a parking spot right in front of it, thus answering my prayer to shorten this awkward car ride. The food at Axum cafe was good, the ambience perfect for having conversations with interesting people and yet I found myself surrounded by people with nothing to say about anything besides Hanson's new album (yes, it's true, Hanson has a new album). We drove to Haight Ashbury, parked and walked down to Amoeba, digesting our Tibsie Beef and Lamb on the way. Upon arrival at the haven of a recordstore, I quickly escaped to the red tag vinyl section and started doing my Billy Goat Gruff impression as I searched the bottom bins of records. I found the half hour of freedom quite refreshing as my wife and I embarked together in our search for some nostalgiac sounds and the other couple roamed the store without purpose. I managed to find some vintage George Harrison, Van morrison and Traffic. Katie had a good find and got the Tears for Fears album "The Hurting", I love her. I was hoping to find some Bauhaus in the mix, but no luck. While we were purchasing our records we noticed that our accompanying couple were nowhere to be seen. I payed for the records and went outside for a moment of fresh air and silence while Katie went back in to retrieve them. I saw an older black man sitting on the curb using a McDonald's cup to panhandle and I noticed he had a shiny solar blanket. I thought to myself "How'd he score that choice solar blanket". Those who are unaware as to what it is should know that one of these blankets will keep you warm in the coldest conditions. Just as I pondered what he might have done to be so fortunate, Katie came out with the annoying couple and I let out a sigh as my moment of inner thought was interrupted. The rest of the evening continued in the same fashion that is to be expected after hanging out with this couple several times before. We went back to our place, hung out until 11pm, then they went home. I have to admit, there were moments of laughter and fun, but the overall experience was a trial and sacrifice that was almost too much to bear. Looks like the only way Katie will be able to hang out with her friend in the future will be under the monacre "Ladies' Night!". As I will not be able to tolerate another evening with him.

Appraisal seeks more praise...

The past couple weeks have been quite busy for me. There was a visitor from my company's London office, Harry, a really cool guy who helped out the situation in the San Francisco more than he knows. His last day here he pulled me into the other room for an "Appraisal" that he was assigned to do. I could tell he hated doing it and just wanted to get it overwith. Overall, regarding my performance as the Office Manager, I got a C grade. A C is quite good, that means I'm basically doing the job the way it should be done. The only way to get to an A or B for that matter is to really go out of my way, put in tons of extra hours and most likely invest some of my own money to keep the office running to the best of its ability. But hey, I work pretty hard and my sups seem to be satisfied with my work so I find some fulfillment in that.

I've discovered that it's so much easier for me to write when I do it longhand. Sitting in front of a computer typing words onto a digital screen just doesn't have the motivating effect that I need. I have this pad of graph paper that I've been using lately, and it's so much easier not having to meddle with formatting or having to resist the temptation to sign onto the internet. The only time I'll probably use my script writing software from now on is to just transcribe what I've already written.

I'm feeling outdoorsy, got a craving to go camping. There's a great spot north of SF that I don't care to reveal to you, my few readers, that I'll be reserving for a lovely night of wilderness survival and s'mores.

If you're interested in joining me and my friends, let me know, it'll be a jolly ol' time. But in the meantime, I'm going to be hanging out in parks more often.

Moving sucks...

...to put it eloquently.

Over the weekend I took to helping my brother Jeff move from one house without a pool to his new house with a pool. A couple years ago he and his family moved from a smaller apartment to the house they just left, and back then we used a medium sized U-haul and it took two trips. This time, we had the biggest U-haul they had, and it still took two trips. Shows what living in a house and the addition of another kid will do to your collection of "stuff"

The move went alright though, it was just my bro, myself and a couple of other guys, and some others who were only able to hang around for a small portion of the move. Jeff and I were the only ones who's joints and backbones were still in good shape (relatively), so we were in charge of loading most of the heavier stuff. My brother has a 60" HD TV, and believe it or not, the thing is way lighter than it appears to be. Then there's his infamous 32" bedroom TV. I've had to move this TV before, whether it be from one house to another or from one room to another, it's a pain in the neck. We laded the TV into a friend's car since it's more likely to survive if it's not loaded into the truck. We got to his new place, got the TV out of the car and shared the duty of moving it to his new bedroom. We got to the porch first and had to put it down from the soreness in our backs and forearms. We rested for a moment then got it moving again, we made it inside the house, went down the hallway leading to his bedroom and just in front of the door we put it down. Both of us let out a muffled grunt (there might have been a self-censored profane word), Jeff immediately grabbed the muscle near the elbow and I felt and saw both my arms suddenly bend up to my chest on their own. I started laughing as Jeff walked away for a moment, massaging his arm with his other hand. I pushed both of my arms down and rested them, when they again began to go up to my chest. I recalled working out in high school and witnessing the same result after completing 5 sets of bicep curls. I just had to stretch them out and they'd be fine, but it looks like Jeff had a pretty bad cramp in his. After a couple minutes rest, we managed to get it in the bedroom and continue unloading the rest of the stuff. We were appreciative for the help we had, but the level of commitment to the job was almost minimal as really only a few of them seemed like they were there to sincerely help, while the others were just being "nice" and not doing it out of the kindness in their hearts.

I really hadn't been exercising or doing anything active (or physically proactive) for sometime, so it felt good to get out into the Concord heat and do some manual labor for a change. I have a huge rainbow color bruise on my thigh from trying to get the U-haul ramp back up when we were done. I look at it as a battle scar after fighting with honor, but that's just a dilusion of grandeur really.

Not all great musicians have good taste...

A couple weeks of weeks ago I was watching the Late Show with David Letterman, and this great guitarist named Raul Midon (who was also blind) performed a great song with a great dynamic that attracted me. A few days later I was strolling around Best Buy and I saw that his album was on sale. I lifted it from the shelf, read the song titles and noticed that Jason Mraz was on one of the songs. This immediately repulsed me and I quickly put it back on the shelf and proceeded to purchase a NIN cd. I was in Virgin Megastore today to pick up a Devendra Banhart CD, and I felt I needed something more, with soul (like the "brotha" soul, Devendra's got plenty spirit). So I gave Raul Midon a try and got his CD since it was priced at a reasonable $9. I took it back to work and put it on almost immediately. I enjoyed the first song, and a couple others, but the album in whole was just way too full of cheese and sunshine. And we all know what happens to cheese when it's been in the sun too long, it makes you sick. I had to cut it off at some point because I just couldn't stand it. I'll admit, the man is a gifted guitarist, he just needs to shut up sometimes and let us hear his guitar. There are too many words, too many awkward singing moments and Jason Mraz is a good way to gay up your album. I hope Virgin will let me return it

Wise words from Inigo Montaya...

"There's not much money in revenge"

If you wanna "Tab" you gotta order somethin'!

I forgot to mention another highlight from my return trip from Utah. We stopped at a small grocery store in Hurricane, UT (aka Hurrakin) in search of munchies and beverages for our long haul across the desert called Nevada. After aimlessly walking around hoping to find some rare things to nibble on we came upon the "Pop" aisle. It was filled with all the regular sodas that you would expect, but then I saw a 12 Pack box with the letters "Tab" written on it. I nearly exploded from excitement. It's been years since I've had a can of Tab, the world's first diet soda and quite frankly it's the best tasting. It's between Coke and Pepsi, in that it's sweeter than Pepsi and not as sweet as Coke, it's near perfect. I couldn't pass up on the 3 for $10 deal and stocked up on the stuff since it's practically impossible to find anywhere here in the bay area. Later in the trip I grabbed a can of the hailed beverage from our cooler, took a sip and was immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia and memories of those long rode trips my family used to make (I could also taste a hint of licorice in its aftertaste). Truthfully, these trips didn't compare to the one I was currently on, the drive from Concord to Escalon, CA where my grandparents lived really isn't that long, but when you're an 8 year old kid an hour trapped in a moving vehicle can seem like an eternity. At that age there's no sense of time or urgency, except that you don't like being stuck inside anything and need to get out and run around. I wish I were that innocent again, full of absurd ideas and not afraid to be mischevious. Alas, I'm glad that I know the things I know now and truthfully wouldn't want to return to my youth, not as long as I'm enjoying adulthood. On a tangent, I'm watching the Discovery Channel, and this show called "Dirty Jobs" is on. It's possibly one of the best "reality" shows ever. This guy goes around the US and literally partakes and educates us in the ways of some of the dirtiest jobs you can think of. The grosses and most disturbing job he's shown thus far is that of a horse breeder. They brought a "stud" to what seriously looked like a clinic where sperm donations would be made. There was a stump about 4 feet in the air that was sprayed with horny female horse scent to get the stud nice and randy. The show's host then had to handle a padded and cylindrical recepticle which he had to cover the 3 foot long erect horse penis with to catch the horse's love nectar. It was thorougly disgusting, coming up after the commercial was the insemenation process, and after seeing the KY jelly being sprayed on the horse's backside I had to change the channel immediately.

Being pinched by Satan's anus...

Had a splendifurous time in southern Utah this past weekend. The drive up was a trial on my patience, but the beautiful scenery to behold in Arizona and Kanab, UT makes up for it all. We arrived at the Heaton Ranch around 6pm, before any of Katie's immediate family had arrived, so we enjoyed a good 2 hours of awkward mingling with Katie's all but estranged aunts, uncles and cousins.

Tired from the effort, we took a nap and woke up to find her parents tearing down the dirt road that leads to the ranch, arriving in a cloud of dust. We visited with them briefly then let them to set up camp. The ranch is one of my favorite spots to camp, it's been two years since our last visit, and we both missed it. Back in ye olde days it was a working ranch with cows, pigs, chickens etc. And in the winter it was a micro ice cream factory, which is what started the yearly tradition of having homemade ice cream at the family reunion. It was creamy, slightly milky and heavenly. Bliss is sitting on a 100 year old porch eating homemade ice cream and and drinking a few glasses of homemade root beer. It rained the second day we were there, so there wasn't much to do.

Katie cousin Robin married just a few weeks ago to a really cool guy named Collin. It was cool to get to know him, we got along real well, which is more than I can say for Katie's sister's ass for a husband. I just don't like the guy, I don't like his vibe and his family is one of the creepiest things to walk the earth. The dad smelled of fermented wine, which was explained to me as being a side effect of a diabetic who isn't taking care of himself. But besides the smell, the man is just plain weird. He's one of those old guys who thinks that just because he's over 50 that he's wise and feels it's his responsibility to speak to all the 20-30 year olds and share his unwelcomed insight on things that don't matter. Parents at the reunion advised their children not to talk to him, and most of us escaped, I managed to only hear one of his BS stories then slip out. It had something to do with an old lady paying off her tax debt by pawning her furniture, it had absolutely nothing to do with anything and I did nothing to segue to the topic. I think this experience gave me some good practice in slipping away from saddlers & conversation traps. I'll have to use the tactics I've developed in the future.

Saturday was really nice, it was sunny with a cool breeze sweeping down the mountains and into the small canyon where the ranch lay. I had planned to climb up to "Frog Rock", which had a gorgeous view of the canyon and the ranch itself. But instead I sought the comfort of the old porch again and imagined the heritage and the stories that have been told on those boards of pine through the years. I grabbed my notepad, a pen and immediately got to work on my script. Within a half hour I wrote a healthy 5 pages that I was quite proud of. I was surprised that nobody came up to me to bug me about what I was doing or to get my opinion on some of the new films coming out. I was able to write a page then enjoy my surroundings for a bit to gather some inspiration, then return to write another page. I should really write out in public more often.

Sunday morning we said our goodbyes and started on our return home to San Francisco. The ride was quick and smooth until lunchtime came around and we decided to get a meal at Treasure Island in Vegas. Both Katie and I have our opinions on Vegas and the people who choose to live there, but let's face it, if you have a lot of money Vegas can be a lot of fun. We had an awesome buffet, got back to the car dripping in sweat after the 3 minute walk to the parking lot and quickly made an effort to leave Las Vegas. The time it took for us to get from Vegas to Baker, CA we could have watch the movie Leaving Las Vegas at least twice. Traffic was so bad, the weather was so hot and the vibe in Nevada is so negative it started to really get to me. None of the happy bubble gum music we had could remedy my feelings, but soon the anger subsided and I learned to accept the congestion and just wait it out.

We made it to Baker just before my tank got empty. After spending a few minutes in this town, I quickly realized that "Baker" is not a name, it's an adjective. It was so hot there I couldn't believe it. Should you ever drive that way, look for the giant thermometer they have there then keep on driving.

The next town was Barstowe, yet another pointless town, but soon after that came the rural town of Hinkley. I swear Hinkley is the result of a giant meth lab explosion. I can't even think of how to describe it really, it's just barren, dead and run down with a very sad feeling clouding it's every square foot of farmland. But we made it through and got to I-5 which is possibly the most boring road in all of California. We had to stop at the King City "In N Out" after not having eaten since Vegas. We noticed that the parking was fuller than usual and that there were a couple buses in the parking lot that were empty. But we hadn't made the connection until we walked into the burger joynt and saw about 200 cheerleaders from various bay area high schools. Now, had I been a high school lad and single I probably would have fainted from the hormonal rush of so many ditzy blonds scurrying around the place with scrunchies in their hair and burgers in their hands. At this exact moment I realized how "adult" I was. I was actually annoyed by all these spirit finger gals.

We got our ..1 and ..2 meals and hurried out to the outdoor picnic area where we half-consciously ate our burgers while trying to not fall asleep. I drank my second refill of Dr. Pepper, woke up a bit and started back on the road.

The air in San Francisco is so crisp, cool and refreshing that sometimes it takes a drive through Nevada to be truly thankful for it. Some random tidbits from my travels: - a man in Jayne attempting to talk at the payphone while the sprinklers of the lawn next to it sprayed him every 5 seconds. - If a squirrel and a cat were to mate, it would be called a "squat" - butt cleavage is a good place to drop a penny - I got stagefright in a Texaco bathroom from the audience of cockroaches that was watching me