Had a splendifurous time in southern Utah this past weekend. The drive up was a trial on my patience, but the beautiful scenery to behold in Arizona and Kanab, UT makes up for it all. We arrived at the Heaton Ranch around 6pm, before any of Katie's immediate family had arrived, so we enjoyed a good 2 hours of awkward mingling with Katie's all but estranged aunts, uncles and cousins.
Tired from the effort, we took a nap and woke up to find her parents tearing down the dirt road that leads to the ranch, arriving in a cloud of dust. We visited with them briefly then let them to set up camp. The ranch is one of my favorite spots to camp, it's been two years since our last visit, and we both missed it. Back in ye olde days it was a working ranch with cows, pigs, chickens etc. And in the winter it was a micro ice cream factory, which is what started the yearly tradition of having homemade ice cream at the family reunion. It was creamy, slightly milky and heavenly. Bliss is sitting on a 100 year old porch eating homemade ice cream and and drinking a few glasses of homemade root beer. It rained the second day we were there, so there wasn't much to do.
Katie cousin Robin married just a few weeks ago to a really cool guy named Collin. It was cool to get to know him, we got along real well, which is more than I can say for Katie's sister's ass for a husband. I just don't like the guy, I don't like his vibe and his family is one of the creepiest things to walk the earth. The dad smelled of fermented wine, which was explained to me as being a side effect of a diabetic who isn't taking care of himself. But besides the smell, the man is just plain weird. He's one of those old guys who thinks that just because he's over 50 that he's wise and feels it's his responsibility to speak to all the 20-30 year olds and share his unwelcomed insight on things that don't matter. Parents at the reunion advised their children not to talk to him, and most of us escaped, I managed to only hear one of his BS stories then slip out. It had something to do with an old lady paying off her tax debt by pawning her furniture, it had absolutely nothing to do with anything and I did nothing to segue to the topic. I think this experience gave me some good practice in slipping away from saddlers & conversation traps. I'll have to use the tactics I've developed in the future.
Saturday was really nice, it was sunny with a cool breeze sweeping down the mountains and into the small canyon where the ranch lay. I had planned to climb up to "Frog Rock", which had a gorgeous view of the canyon and the ranch itself. But instead I sought the comfort of the old porch again and imagined the heritage and the stories that have been told on those boards of pine through the years. I grabbed my notepad, a pen and immediately got to work on my script. Within a half hour I wrote a healthy 5 pages that I was quite proud of. I was surprised that nobody came up to me to bug me about what I was doing or to get my opinion on some of the new films coming out. I was able to write a page then enjoy my surroundings for a bit to gather some inspiration, then return to write another page. I should really write out in public more often.
Sunday morning we said our goodbyes and started on our return home to San Francisco. The ride was quick and smooth until lunchtime came around and we decided to get a meal at Treasure Island in Vegas. Both Katie and I have our opinions on Vegas and the people who choose to live there, but let's face it, if you have a lot of money Vegas can be a lot of fun. We had an awesome buffet, got back to the car dripping in sweat after the 3 minute walk to the parking lot and quickly made an effort to leave Las Vegas. The time it took for us to get from Vegas to Baker, CA we could have watch the movie Leaving Las Vegas at least twice. Traffic was so bad, the weather was so hot and the vibe in Nevada is so negative it started to really get to me. None of the happy bubble gum music we had could remedy my feelings, but soon the anger subsided and I learned to accept the congestion and just wait it out.
We made it to Baker just before my tank got empty. After spending a few minutes in this town, I quickly realized that "Baker" is not a name, it's an adjective. It was so hot there I couldn't believe it. Should you ever drive that way, look for the giant thermometer they have there then keep on driving.
The next town was Barstowe, yet another pointless town, but soon after that came the rural town of Hinkley. I swear Hinkley is the result of a giant meth lab explosion. I can't even think of how to describe it really, it's just barren, dead and run down with a very sad feeling clouding it's every square foot of farmland. But we made it through and got to I-5 which is possibly the most boring road in all of California. We had to stop at the King City "In N Out" after not having eaten since Vegas. We noticed that the parking was fuller than usual and that there were a couple buses in the parking lot that were empty. But we hadn't made the connection until we walked into the burger joynt and saw about 200 cheerleaders from various bay area high schools. Now, had I been a high school lad and single I probably would have fainted from the hormonal rush of so many ditzy blonds scurrying around the place with scrunchies in their hair and burgers in their hands. At this exact moment I realized how "adult" I was. I was actually annoyed by all these spirit finger gals.
We got our ..1 and ..2 meals and hurried out to the outdoor picnic area where we half-consciously ate our burgers while trying to not fall asleep. I drank my second refill of Dr. Pepper, woke up a bit and started back on the road.
The air in San Francisco is so crisp, cool and refreshing that sometimes it takes a drive through Nevada to be truly thankful for it. Some random tidbits from my travels: - a man in Jayne attempting to talk at the payphone while the sprinklers of the lawn next to it sprayed him every 5 seconds. - If a squirrel and a cat were to mate, it would be called a "squat" - butt cleavage is a good place to drop a penny - I got stagefright in a Texaco bathroom from the audience of cockroaches that was watching me
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